Guidance

 I want to share my story and need guidance from you guys. 

I'm 27y (F). I got married in 2024 with the love of my life from 2016. We were class fellows and always being very supportive for each other. After marriage we only live for one week at my in laws house. My husband are only 2 brothers. And from past 20 years both Hostelized. My husband's younger brother have strong bond with my mil and fil. But my husband is shy even not so expressive in front of his parents. He only share his thoughts and any sort of worries with me as we were friends from long ago then this friendship turns into relationship. 

We live in different city than my in-laws as we both are working there and lives in a rented house. Firstly my mother in law is against dowry but as she feels my husband's inclination towards me (after our 2 years long engagement and one year long nikkah) she somehow feels and got felt by others that she lost his lovely son now. So she refused to make my clothes and gold on wedding and forced to bring dowry. As I'm well educated, established and from well off city and lifestyle rather than them. It might make her insecure about his son.

I got pregnant after 8 months of our wedding and we struggled really hard during my pregnancy due to excessive complications. I worked for 8 and half months of my pregnancy to save the money for our child. My husband also worked really hard. As we live alone in that rented house so I have to manage all the house chores, and office work alone (sometimes my husband also helped me). I went to office through rickshaw which also make me really suffer in pregnancy. My route to office is very long and roads are not well. And my husband used to pick me up from office and we came home on bike which we have. Due to rickshaw and bike rides, poor nutrition, stress, anxiety, excessive workload at office makes my health poor day by day in pregnancy. As I lost almost 5 to 7 kgs in my pregnancy. 

We were serious about the savings and baby's wellbeing so I ignored myself. Due to these factors I lost platelets, wbc and havelow hb as well. I had to go for the operation early due to poor health. If I don't go for it I might lost my life as per the doctor's instructions. 

At the time of delivery, my mother and husband are all alone in the hospital in the middle of the night and searching for blood and platelets donors to save my life.

As I delivered my baby, the same evening my in laws came from different city. They didn't ask about me or my husband. They only concerned about their grandchild. Firstly I was happy that they love my baby. From that day my father in law start forcing my husband to came back and start living with them in their house. They somehow start manipulate my husband that your wife is not able to work now due to baby and with low income it's difficult to live so come back and start some business with them in their city. Due to their force I give up, and come with my husband in his city. As I don't want to lose my relation in this situation. I really love my husband.

After 3 months of baby, my husband resigned from his job where he get almost 2.5 lac and I also left my job where i get almost 85k . We came with all of our stuff in my in-laws house. All of my stuff distributed in my father in law and brother in law room. We only given bed and chairs in our room. Nothing else, nor single wall clock. 

We both are now empty handed, and we spent everything on transportation and baby's birth. And my father in law now hesitant to start any business for my husband. We both targeted and taunted daily for everything. My husband's brother prioritize and they started feel burden of ourselves. We don't have any privacy. Everyone is in our room all the time and came even in the middle of night and says we came to see the baby. I feel very bad as I sleep or something they don't bother to come in our room. If my husband try to say something they started bashing and insulting him in front of me even did the same for me as well. 

Right now we both are financially broken and jobless. They forced us to do as they say. It feels like we're puppets and our remote in under their control. 

I'm dire need of a remote job so I can earn to fulfill my baby's need at least. 

They forced me to use the reusable clothes and accessories from the child of the cousin of my husband. They even bring used clothes for the first baby of their house. 

As my in-laws also very financially strong. But they start counting our bites as well specially mine. 

Please don't judge me. I'm already in my bad mental state. Just need good suggestions from you guys. And if any remote job available I'm willing to do for my child.